Hi Colin,
Bit of a delayed response to your question and we're probably not yet too qualified to speak from practical experience having only collected our new BR from Matt on Saturday. What we can say is that we went through the same thoughts and anxieties that you are.
We've sailed a Laser Stratos for the past 5 years but for us, we needed to look ahead at where we wanted to sail (more estuary and coastal as well as our local inland sailing club), therefore how quickly we could rig and launch (the quicker the better), how much longer we could lug a heavy dinghy up and down slips on a launching trolley (not much, we're not getting any younger and having come to sailing late, we want to continue as long as possible) and stability ( we're not getting any younger etc...).
After looking at all sorts of boats, we kept coming back to the BR and like you one of Shirley's concerns about the self-tacking jib was, "What do I do now?" We discussed this with Matt and we decided to go with the self tack rig. OK, going close hauled she will just watch the jib go across but on alterations of course she will still need to trim. She will also be looking after the mizzen because I'll forget it's behind me. Oh yes, and there's that big pink genni to play with too. As others have said, there are ways to heave-to as well.
Yes, it's a big outlay money wise but for us the BR meets all our requirements and will see us sailing in new areas and more frequently for many years to come.
Alan & Shirley Godber